Monthly Archives: October 2010

A month ago I felt certain I had lost my hold on the rope forever. This morning I found myself at Tom Brown Park, riding dusty single track. I need to say that I am grateful man, kiss the ground and beg forgiveness grateful to be back on my bike and riding. Nothing hurt more than it needed to, and I didn’t miss those 16 angry blocks of butter I sloughed off. Rock bottom is a hard place to be, but you can get a really good push-off from down there.

Thanks to everybody who didn’t give up on me.

Juancho

I used to be quite an avid caver, before they started making the caves so small, so I can close my eyes and easily project myself a half-mile underground and imagine the panic I would feel being trapped in stygian darkness for over two months. I also am climbing out of my own metaphysical hole right now and I wait patiently for that first glimpse of light above me that signifies the end of suffering, or at least the opportunity to take on new suffering. This has also been a year of darkness and pessimism for many of us. Oil seeping towards our cherished shoreline, mutual persecution and condemnation in our Us vs. Them nation, friends broke down, hurt, and healing.

These are some of my reasons for an unabashed fixation on the plight of the Chilean Miners now coming up out of the ground, returning from their trip to the river Styx. Like Theseus they will find that much has changed in the world. These men have been camped in my subconcious for months as their incredulous story carried on amidst the squawking chaos of everday life. I wonder if there will come a day when they wake up disappointed with the real world and find themselves missing the cave?

I know for me it means that when people care for one another they are capable of mighty things, and for that I thank those guys, the nation of Chile, and the Americans who drilled them out of there.

It is a good lesson

Juancho

It turns out that the results of the mid-term elections are not my personal responsibility, and the earth maintains the ability to travel around the sun without the loving attention of my guiding hand.

I can not determine the behavior of others through the application of focused worrying or resentment.

Life may be a lot like groping your way down a dark hallway at times, but that doesn’t mean I have to run headlong until I crash into a wall. I can use my other senses, like the common one.

Too much will always be too much, even if I say “I got it.”

Not enough will never be enough, even when I say “that’s ok, I’m fine.”

If you break your arm do not eat all the pills they give you, pain is all right, it is there for a reason.

I’m back now.

Juancho