Monthly Archives: January 2007

San Felasco- A tiresome end to a tiresome saga

The weather was warm and lovely. The course was fast and fun for the most part. My bike was working. My legs were working. And yet…

Minutes away from the lunch station I crossed paths with every single person that I knew in the event as they all departed lunch in happy little packs of three to six. No matter I thought to myself, a quick lunch, a second wind- then run them down like the dogs they are. I slurped down some soup and crammed three pb & j’s in my face as I sat down to stretch out the hams. All around me spandex-wrapped honkies brayed and chortled at a variety of inside jokes. Snippets of heart monitor comparisons, something about a little Van Morrison in the I-pod. Was this me? Were these my people? In a horrifying realization I determined that yes, I did in fact belong here. I checked the time. 12:40 P:M. Plenty of time to turn it around and hump the last 24 miles out, and yet…

I found myself focusing with tunnel vision on a red arrow that said “bail”. “BAIL, BAIL, BAIL, BAIL” echoed in my brain. I pictured myself napping in the sun. I followed the red signs.
Four miles later, in a trance of indifference, I loaded my truck and rolled out- a clean break from the 50 and all the harassment that accompanied its arrival. Over. Now there would be new harrassment. I think change is nice.

As I arrived back at the pole barn, Ma Ingalls was loading up to drive the covered wagon to Fort Ocala to do some trading and I found myself strolling the aisles of BED, BATH, & BEYOND shopping for bundles of cinnamon pinecones, plastic re-usable ice cubes, and “massaging implements”.

There are so many excuses that there is really no challenge in using them. The too long ride the day before. The endless hours in the car, the plane, the restaurants, the bad hotel beds, important family commitments and amazing life events, you see? I could do this all day.

Bailing is easy, and I suppose that is why people do it. See you there next year!

Send in the harpies-


No More Excuses

So what is it going to be? Will Juancho survive the 50? Place your bets now. he is currently offering 3 to 1 against. I’ve been fiddling with my drivetrain trying to facilitate a “Miracle Mechanical” that will get me out of this predicament, but Pete is just too damn good a mechanic. Everything seems to be working just fine.

-Cross your fingers…

The Green Flash

I decided it was time to reveal myself on this site so yes, that is me on the left. If you happen to recognize me in public please respect my right to privacy. If you must recognize me in some manner, buy me a beer or something. As you can see by the ecstatic smile on my face, we witnessed the elusive “green flash sunset” moments before this was taken. The Green Flash has eluded me for 36 years, and many of those years spent on the coast-staring at the sunset- hoping for a green flash. In my mind I always pictured it dancing in dazzled patterns across the water just before the sky went black, and that is most likely why I never saw one. It is the sun pulsing, an emerald orb- sustaining one last intense projection of color before slipping beneath the waves.
I was asked if I was thinking of anything in particular when it happened, as if there is some significance to the moment above and beyond the scientific. I don’t remember that I was, and perhaps that is cause for concern. When magic happens, you have to be ready to use it.
I have seen the Northern Lights from the Wyoming Plains. (I thought I was hallucinating after emerging from a 10 hour underground caving expedition.) I have seen it snow in Florida. Waterspouts on the Gulf.
Thunderstorms rolling past below me, rather than above, from the Sacajawea peak in Montana. Tidal pools full of anemones and starfish on the coast near Tillamook, OR -lunar eclipses and meteor showers. Curtains of ice, water boiling straight up out of the ground, and hurricane winds blowing whitecaps on the puddles in the Publix parking lot.
It isn’t like me to let magic slip by. I’ll be ready for the next one.

Birth Announcement

Congratulations to “Anonymous” on the birth of his new Salsa Santos FS ride. He debuted it to me yesterday afternoon down at Munson Hills. It seems to have slowed him up a little bit so I consider this a wonderful improvement.

On other fronts- I hear someone is planning to convince me to bail at the lunch break at San Felasco (30 mile mark). I want that person to know we look upon such actions favorably here at the Big Ring Circus and they should probably go ahead and bring the proper refreshments as we will have a 2 hour wait for the rest of our parties. (Some sort of Schnapps and a hot soup entree?)

The Holiday season is over and I once again emerge a slower, sluggisher Juancho. I never met a camambert I didn’t like, that’s my motto. Be on the lookout for the Angry Monk over the next few weeks and beware his acrid tongue.

Fat Lad- Do not give up hope of peanut butter pretzels, just forward a mailing address and I will see what I can do for you. I know you will appreciate them more than most.

My “Veal Training Plan” is askew. I have ridden a total of 38 miles since I returned home and I am sure that the meat of my thighs is tough and stringy now as opposed to the buttery consistency I had hoped for, there is nothing to do but ride this damn eco-tour I suppose.

Oh, and my new year’s resolution? To continue rocking y’allses ever-loving world practically daily with the same hard-hitting journalism you have come to expect here at the Big Ring Circus.