‘Tis true my friend ’tis true, I sold you out.”
Sasquatch has been talking a lot about getting a road bike, because “It’s all about the miles baby!, the 1/2 speed road miles!”. I understand his infatuation with distance, I’ve been there, I can feel the pull to keep going and going. As SQ said the other day, “I could ride to Pennsylvania right now, I just don’t give a FUCK!”
A road bike however, is not the answer. In fact, I have met two cross-country trekkers in my life and neither of them were on road bikes. Both of them road mountain bikes with slicks, and full pannier rigs, but I’ll save those stories for another post. Of course, the S’quatch and I aren’t talking about the 70’s style ‘lose yourself to find yourself’ odyssey, we’re going more for the alpine style, light and fast, single day distance thing.
All that to say, that he had warned me about his wife, um, Mrs. Sasquatch? (that doesn’t sound so good does it?) and her staunch aversion to the road bike plan. As his cycling mentor I expect he thought I would produce a well-spun defense of the road bike initiative, assuaging her concerns for S’quatch’s safety and continued physical integrity. He forgot that in all circumstances I am pretty much intimidated by Mrs. S.
Don’t judge me, you haven’t met her! This woman has a quick mind, a sharp tongue, and a terminator-like wit to splay your weak argument like a cleaned trout.
So she asked me, “What do you think of this road bike plan?”
I folded. “He’s going to die if he gets a road bike! At the least you will have to drive further and further to rescue him when a “mechanical” waylays him along some molten, summer highway.
Road bikers are dicks anyway, I continued, (sorry boys, its part of the story) you won’t like his new friends. He’s going to shave his legs, start drinking protein powder, wearing Oakleys, you just don’t know! I for one, will probably never ride with, or even see him again! He might as well buy a handgun and a fifth of bourbon, it would be much safer.”
So the road bike fever passed. Don’t worry S’quatch, we’re going to get the miles, one knobby mile at a time.