Packing the War Bag

San Felasco War Bag Checklist

• Enduring sense of irony
• Withering sarcasm
• Loathing for those more prepared
• Mock pity for those less-prepared
• Extra Excuses
• Extra 15 lbs.
• Feelings of wretchedness
• Resignation to my fate
• Fake smile
• “Special” fake smile for certain Tallahassee factions
• Hope that I will see others suffer misfortune
• Sense of humor
• Collection of special “San Fiasco” nicknames
• Helmet with can of Guiness dangling off the front
• Regret for lack of training rides over the holidays (x 2)
• Off-hand derogatory comments for Full Suspension bikes and riders
• Internal Soundtrack (probably going with Outkast/NOFX)
• Beer to cry in (for later)
• Versatile fantasy life to escape to for a while
• Random items meant to enhance performance (but won’t)
• Dread for the middle thirty miles (the rest will be easy)
• Apologies for losing it at some point
• Plenty of blame to go around
• Bale of barbed wire
• Jug of turpentine

Wow. I had no idea organized riding was so gear intensive. What am I forgetting?

William Juancho Wallace