Packing the War Bag

San Felasco War Bag Checklist

  • Enduring sense of irony
  • Withering sarcasm
  • Loathing for those more prepared
  • Mock pity for those less-prepared
  • Extra Excuses
  • Extra 15 lbs.
  • Feelings of wretchedness
  • Resignation to my fate
  • Fake smile
  • “Special” fake smile for certain Tallahassee factions
  • Hope that I will see others suffer misfortune
  • Sense of humor
  • Collection of special “San Fiasco” nicknames
  • Helmet with can of Guiness dangling off the front
  • Regret for lack of training rides over the holidays (x 2)
  • Off-hand derogatory comments for Full Suspension bikes and riders
  • Internal Soundtrack (probably going with Outkast/NOFX)
  • Beer to cry in (for later)
  • Versatile fantasy life to escape to for a while
  • Random items meant to enhance performance (but won’t)
  • Dread for the middle thirty miles (the rest will be easy)
  • Apologies for losing it at some point
  • Plenty of blame to go around
  • Bale of barbed wire
  • Jug of turpentine

Wow. I had no idea organized riding was so gear intensive. What am I forgetting?

William Juancho Wallace

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