I expected to hear dozens of bad jokes about Floyd Landis by now and instead I have yet to hear the first joke. I figured it is time to take matters into my own hands and get the ball rolling right here at the circus. Humor is good medicine, and not intended to imply guilt or wrongdoing on the part of Mr. Landis. So here goes…
After seven years of losing to a guy with one ball, of course it seemed like a high testosterone level.”
Ba bump BUMP!
But seriously folks, “It’s France, ANY testosterone would seem like a lot right?”
“They think Floyd’s testosterone level was high? it’s a good thing they don’t test ME after every ride.”
That’s the idea, so what have you got for me?
On the jugo.
you folks are hilarious, stop it, you’re making me pee my pants!
“So that’s why those beers I had the night after I bonked had so much froth.”
“Synthetic testosterone — your own natural organism, only better.”
“You just try conjugal relations after two weeks on a racing road bike seat. Of course I powered up. I’m a married man!”
“Floyd Landis, banned from competitive cycling, has just signed a 4-year, $18.4 million contract to bat cleanup for the Kakoola Reapers.”
It’s just not that funny, really.
It’s either an epic conspiracy where Floyd plays Jesus for Lance’s sins and is betrayed by a bitter and hidden French kiss -or- Floyd Landis, a supposed American inspiration, is a desperate dumbass.
Who’s ever going to watch the tour again when you don’t really know what you’re watching? I guess the crashes are cool, but even then, are you watching an unfortunate warrior stumble or a juiced-up fool in a frantic tumble?
I guess it’s not funny. Damn, now I’m all sad.
The fans still fill the stands at the ballparks. And it’s still flesh, blood, and sinew out there in the French countryside. Good theater, even if enhanced by a little powder and paint.
Bighorn (husband o’ mine) had a superb idea. Two simultaneous versions of the Tour de France. The juiced and the unjuiced. That way the fans do know what they are watching. Think of all the sponsors who could come out of the closet. Think of the dollars. Think of the inspiration to the kids!
I like that idea a lot.
And truthfully, I’d watch the juiced.
So, out of curiosity, where would a guy go to find some of these “performance enhancers”?