I’m lucky to have this hit man follow me around telling me he will take me out if I ain’t careful. I don’t know his true identity as I hired him on the internet, but I imagine he is from Walker County, AL as everyone knows that is where you go if you want to contract a killer. One too many steps in the wrong direction and POW, I won’t ever know what hit me. Go ahead and act natural, walk like everything is fine, but know I will be right behind you the whole time so don’t try to run or make any sudden moves he says. At first it bugged me that he was back there watching me, listening to all of my private thoughts and conversations, staring over my shoulder when I check my blood sugar. The number comes in- 96- and I hear him un-cock the pistol and sigh, relieved or disappointed who can tell?
Saturday morning I felt the urgency more than usual, like if Hit Man was going to follow me I should make him work for it. I am the one paying his retainer after all. I met the Hard Man at the park and we tried to scrape that son of a bitch off on every tree in the woods. We plowed through lush carpets of poison ivy and rode the downhills as uphills and the uphills as side hills. We wore his ass out, and even when I bounced my face off the trail and rode out the inertia in a skittering spin down a splintered ramp, the hit man was nowhere in sight. Blood ran out of my arm, but it was well within a healthy range. I tasted it. Nothing but savory.
Juancho
So it was either wear his ass out or buy him a donut, I guess. Whew!
YES! Yes and yes!
So we do this out and back on Oates peak. A ride of little consequence… an old mans ride. My geezer pals relish the easy pain of the climb and the flow of the sidewalk like descent. Not my favorite but I do it for them. At the bottom we have one last *choice* go left to the car park or right and back up to the bench above Islay creek. When I arrive there something inside me speaks,”do the drop into Islay creek….do it …do it”. My pals say ,” do we have to?”. I say “no…but I have to”. Off the brakes building speed the little table is coming up. Scrub it like you want to in your dreams…”DO IT”. Faster still, narrowing to one thin line, stay off the brakes! Into the blind steps, the creek is coming up. Has a hiker put rocks across again? Deal when you get there Buzz. Smash, splash…no crash!! I am ALIVE!
Keep on Jauncho!
Which is exactly why I disapprove of the “create a route for everyone” trail design. Some trails need to stay “do or do not.”
Cheat the hangman, baby, cheat the hangman. (And I should take my own advice.)
Now THAT is a return to form in more ways than one. Well done Juanchilio! Aunt Pollyanna and I enjoyed that one.
So, basically, you had to outride him or buy him a donut? Good job!! 🙂
All I have to say about this is…swoon. The writing. Swoon. Thank you. That is all.
I know this man of which you speak. He is always waiting.
I have not visited in quite some time. So I spent this quiet Saturday morning catching up. All I can say is, get on with this/these book/s I hear rumbling about. The world needs more Juancho in its life.