Day III: Left Behind

“Dear Mr. Juancho,

We are sorry to inform you that the 50 mile Tour de Felasco has filled. Please find your check enclosed…

*Sigh* it was going to bounce anyway.

Like the last kid picked in gym class, nobody wants me (or Hambone, or Squatchie, or Mystery) to participate in their stupid bike ride.

The Ididaride, one week later, along the banks of the Suwanee River?

Also Closed.

So, the question is: If you are shut out of all the painful, manic-obsessive bike events in your area do you just go for it and start eating biscuits and gravy every morning for the rest of the winter and start drinking pints again down at the Warehouse, perfecting your pool game?

Obviously, the delicious answer is yes, and save room for cake!

Unfortunately, there is one more endurance ride scheduled in the area, and it happens to be hosted by our very own Fat of the Land bicycle organization. The Hell and Back is a supported adventure ride from downtown Tallahassee to the middle of Tate’s Hell Swamp, and back. It is 70 miles one way, probably through a muck-filled creek bed and/or sand pit. Last year it attracted a raucous crowd of 5 riders.

Numbers are likely to double this year.


6 Responses to Day III: Left Behind

  1. Well Juancho, I guess even with the numbers doubling, the good news is that it shouldn’t fill up. Unlike my belly which is quite filled up with biscuits, gravy and pints.

    Let the lurking begin.

    The Sharkbite Kid

  2. Those of us who don’t ride have no reason NOT to fill up on biscuits and gravy and therefore die young??? Better sign me up. It’s better to die on the trail than live on one’s knees, right??

  3. And 70 miles back, after a night on a foam pad or air mattress. I’m thinking I’ll join the internal-combustion-propelled support crew. Although with the proper mix of training table biscuits and conditioning rides, I might be able to handle one way . . . .

  4. Haiku for Juancho

    I lay in waiting.
    To show you the mask of a
    latin wrestler past.
    Fervently hoaning
    skills left on the trails years last.
    Winter trails we’ll blast.

  5. This place is starting to creep me out. anonymous poems? Latin wrestlers? Is that you El Terrible?

    Let me guess Jill, you’re going to ride down here for the ride right?