Imbalancing Act

“Just put your front tire on it and then look at the other side and go”.


Words to live by my friends, alongside “watch the hips”, “focus on what you want, not what you don’t want”, “I wouldn’t step there if I were you”, and “F*ck it dude, let’s go bowling.”

I snuck out to the park specifically to session all the skinny bridges and catwalks out there, so the next time I rode I could wow my friends with my seemingly nonchalant skills. The downside is that if you fall off and break an ankle then you have to drag yourself to the road. If you konk your noggin you might have to sleep there for a little while, and if you do something really awesome, nobody will see it and you will have to do it again. In spite of all of this, I seem to get better quicker in the company of myself. I had just “sent” a section of catwalk and was pretty much ready to roll back to the car when who did I run into? You guessed it, the pride of Mayberry, Barney and Andy. No wait, I can do better- who did I run into? you guessed it, the WHAM! of the woods, George Michael and Andrew Ridggely. That’s better.

No, of course you know who it really was, Bigworm and the W.B. Zip-neck said it best, “Dude, your face read equal parts joy and fear when you saw it was us.”

A brief ass-whipping followed, in which the skinny bridge was shot, the roll-in rolled in forwards and backwards, and the rooty climbs assaulted over and over. The bad news is, those guys are in pretty good shape. The good news is, I’m running out of trail that intimidates me around here.

I’m sure that statement will change all that.


Oh, and go by Bigworm’s new hangout, and say hi. Now I know why he can’t continue his BRC column “Ask Bigworm”. He ditched me like Stephen Colbert ditched John Daly on the Stewart show.

take two-


7 Responses to Imbalancing Act

  1. I remember a certain fat pipe I used as a ditch bridge when I was a kid. By rights, I should have knocked all my teeth out about a million times. Never did, though. What saint watches over kids on bikes?