Lumpy Carbuncle and the Greater Tuberosities

I could tell something had changed. The x-ray no longer showed the peeled-back fingernail of bone that flagged off of the Greater Tuberosity. Now it looked like a lumpy carbuncle. Was that good? Is a carbuncle an improvement over a sliver?

It turns out the answer is yes. My Greater Tuberosity will not win any orthopedic beauty contests (the interior takes after the exterior?) but it is going to function. After a couple of weeks of mobility work and light weightlifting the doctor says I can try a bike ride on a flat surface. For perspective, my first weightlifting assignment is a can of soup above my head, or as high as I can lift a can of soup. No more sling, and the pills are long gone, but I won’t forget the lessons that they taught me.

The conversation on this blog has changed, and for the better. I won’t be too concerned about writing about bikes from now on, especially since my rides will be boring for a while. I hope. I’m going into the truth-telling business around here, and anybody knows that if you really want to tell the truth, you have to adjust the facts sometimes.

Today’s truth has to do with Elvis Presley, who died 33 years ago today. If you hear Elvis’ name and immediately start cracking about “Fat Elvis” please know that your sense of humor is boring and unoriginal, and we have heard it all before, and we are not impressed. Click on the title to hear why.


*Lumpy Carbuncle and the Greater Tuberosities were the opening act for the King’s final show.

9 Responses to Lumpy Carbuncle and the Greater Tuberosities

  1. Good to hear; some takin’ care of business. Will there be a burning of the sling ceremony?

    And Elvis, was a hero to most, but…

  2. That is correct, and John Wayne was NOT a racist- he demanded egality on set.

    Is this a chalk line in the sand/asphalt? Where bikes and Greasers are on one side and _________ is on the other? Cuz I don’t hang out with a bunch of Soc.

  3. That’s a starting line because my rehab is fixing to take off.

    “Fats Domino is the king of rock-n-roll.”

    Elvis Aaron Presley