Mitigated Gall

Why is it that gall is never mitigated? If you hold back just a tad on your gall does it lose it’s impact entirely? That doesn’t seem right to me. That’s why I will mitigate my gall by owning up to being a hypocrite. If you are going to write about idealism on the Internet, or make observations about the shortcomings of others it is best to fall on your sword at the very outset.

This is also a tactical decision. To stand as Judas and question the disciples, “am I the only one who has sinned?” is to drag everybody down with you where they belong. I remember this kid in middle school who would spit in his own food and rub his yeast roll in his greasy hair before the bullies had a chance to do it for him. This is what I mean by mitigating my gall.

So I am a hypocrite, but you might be one too.

On Monday I get X-rayed, which hopefully means turning the corner towards rehab and exercise. I will have to put down the remote whether I have seen every episode of Wife Swap or not, and I admit- I hate to do it. I have learned some things this summer by watching television. I am, however, the kind of person who finds meaning and symbolism in odd places.

You can look down on Wal-mart and the people who shop there but the entire human experience walks through those doors every day. Sadness, triumph, hope, greed,loneliness, love- it is all there to be found. You can mock Wife Swap, but watch The Daily Show and find some measurable difference there. You can drink bottled water and boycott BP. You can do whatever you want. That’s what hypocrites do.

You don’t need Chaucer to tell you the story. Life is short, and the craft is long to learn.

The themes of humankind are universal, and therefore can be found everywhere.


7 Responses to Mitigated Gall

  1. I hope somewhere in here you’re telling me that I can quit worrying about being nice because I just don’t feel real nice all the time!

  2. OK, Judge Not is a good credo, but distinctions give life spice. And if a man kicks his own ass properly, the soapbox becomes a mountain too high. But where would that leave your loyal readers?

    That said, good luck on the X-rays. I need someone to haul me off the road bike and back onto the trail.

  3. Thank God I’m not alone in not feeling nice. Got up on the wrong side of the bed a couple of weeks ago. And YES to WalMart.I’m tired of people pretending not to shop there, when I know they do. I was depressed as all get out yesterday, and it actually cheered me up to go to WalMart. People were polite. They had the stuff I was looking for (except for a bathing suit — all sold out by now) — and a clean bathroom. What’s not to like? Oh, and did I mention affordable, unlike the little boutiques on German Street here in town.

  4. I do not litter. And I do not shop at WalMart. These are unwavering rules for me. In fact, the last thing I bought at Walmart, I threw right out the window after leaving the parking lot.