I have been taking the supplement pictured below in order to focus on some unusually pressing projects in my fabulously interesting work which I will never, ever tell you about. This shit is amazing. I feel like Charlie Gordon, the retarded guy in the book, Flowers for Algernon. If you aren’t familiar with the story, Gordon receives a special operation to not only repair his retardation, but to make him an absolute stone-cold genius, and it works. Well, it works for a little while. In the brief span of time that he is no longer a simpleton working as a delivery boy he accomplishes the following-
Falls in love
Gets laid, not by the one he loves, but still dude, come on.
Gives the jerks he worked with their come-uppance for treating him bad when he was retarded.
Surpasses the intellect of the professor who did the surgery, by proving that the surgery will not last-Fuck!
Algernon, the mouse who preceded him in the experiment dies. Charlie rapidly slips back into his retarded state and disappears into a home for disabled adults.
So if any of you have dissed me with humor above my head, I’m coming for you. I now know everything. Hopefully I too will fall in love and subsequently get laid by a woman other than the one I love.
As long as this stuff lasts, I’m going to take care of some business, and if I go out like Charlie, somebody please put flowers on Algernon’s grave for me.