I will be out of here for a couple days. I’m going to Oak Mountain State Park, where the locals love mountain biking, but apparently haven’t figured out that you are supposed to ride the bikes. Maybe I can give them some pointers.

But seriously folks!

If you have a craving for lush hardwood forest, demanding singletrack, and good BBQ then google Oak Mountain State Park and let the envy begin. I can definitely throw that guy’s bike farther than he can, so I’m looking to get on the podium so to speak.

New submission from “IfIhadabike” up in NYC- BRC- Now with Humor!

Very funny. Very friggin’ funny.

What else? Remember S’quatch? He managed to keep himself clean again all weekend by staying out of the woods. I think he’s truly hung up his knobbies for good. We had some good times though didn’t we? Hello?

Bushy and I tromped around looking for scat and tracks yesterday, but I’m afraid the trail has gone cold on the big cat. We had some minor excitement when I leapt across the “crik” in a cat-like manner myself and Bushy yells “Stop! Don’t Move! A huge snake just flashed up the hill when you landed”. “Come back the way you came” he says, which was impossible and looked even snakier. Standing in tall grass wondering which way the snake went actually sounds like an excellent metaphor for my general life outlook and expectations. I picked a direction and high-stepped it out of there. Also an excellent metaphor for something.

I’m still welcoming slogan submissions, so keep them coming. We have some real gems, but I have a hunch you can do better. I’m also think of printing up some less traditional items rather than the standard t-shirt, coffee mug, thing. I’m leaning towards…

a Nascar sponsorship
Cartons of smokes
Ace bandages
inner tubes (great product visibility!)
Your bikes

Just to name a few. That’s right, this juice of mine just flows all day.

-Juancho-now with humor!

13 Responses to Alabama

  1. BRC — It’s not what you expectorate
    BRC – Endos standard, bunny hops optional
    BRC – Ride dirt or die
    BRC – Calling a psychological since 2005
    BRC – Feline hallucinations monthly

  2. Good ones, Tops! “Calling a psychological since 2005” !

    Of course I haven’t hung up my knobbies. I’m a cyclist, and cyclists don’t limit themselves like that. Next it will be a cross bike and eventually a unicycle, and I’m always riding the life cycle.

    Here’s the breakdown. It’s crunch time, and when the Squatch is a busy beast, priorities must be maintained. Lesser passions suffer, and right now:

    Road bike trumps mountain bike

    Family trumps friends (but just barely!)

    Chopping Wood trumps Gold’s Gym

    Of course just about anything, including opening a new pickle jar, trumps Golds Gym, but you get the idea.

  3. BRC — Biking Replaces Church
    BRC — Beat up a Roadie for Christ
    BRC — Bikes, Recipes, Cats
    BRC — Peter Pan on Fat Tires

    I just figured out why my mt. bike is so heavy. It’s gotta be the slime and the Schrader valve in my front tire. Now it’s true I haven’t had a flat in two years, but hey, what’s a little trailside changeout compared with the the 2-3 ounces I’ll save from a slime-free Presta tube?

  4. Bushy, you can’t define a man by his least glorious moments.

    I really meant everything I said the night before when I was pulling that ride together. I just forgot it all in my sleep, and then mistook Juancho’s bridled fury (when he woke me up at 10:00 A.M.) for grace and understanding, you know, like a friend might have. I even remember thinking to myself, before rolling over and going back to sleep, “See, now that’s a true brother, right there.”

  5. Gotta defend the creature once again. Wasn’t it still winter when this went down? Ursine man-beasts sleep hard when nights are long and Sol is low in the southern sky. And I think Sasquatch was still battling the Asian yetivirus back then. I’m just glad it hasn’t yet crossed over to sapiens hitopsus.

    Back to more pressing matters. Nobody interested in my Schrader/slime theory? Maybe I’ll run it by the Blue Collar Boys.

  6. I was trying to politely ignore the issue so as not to bring shame upon this house. Slime is never the answer. Congrats on the weight loss.

  7. Interesting tidbit from a biker blog:

    “Still, as problems go, it ain’t bad. There were a number of crashes yesterday on the A ride, all at a slick water crossing, and while no details were really given out, injuries included at least one concussion and several broken bones, and apparently somebody had to have some surgery to “put stuff back where it belongs.” So when water goes across the road for a long enough time that algae starts to grow, get off and walk. Now you know.”