Mystery and I, we go way back. It’s like I told he and S’quatch last night. It isn’t that we like each other and get along, but that we both have flexible schedules. Like I told him last year, I’m all he’s got. In order to pre-empt some potential road trip quarrels I would like to establish the ground rules.
1. No Steely Dan.
2. When I say we ride to Picklesimer Fields, we go to Picklesimer Fields.
3. All Rock Climbs must be completed by sunset.
4. All riders must refrain from hitting me in the face with their bicycles.
5. No riding upwind of me after the third day.
6. No driving my rig like it is an F-16 through Atlanta.
7. Let me do the talking, whenever, wherever.
8. No deviation from pre-determined routes on trail or rock, without exception.
9. No eating eggs in the dirt.
10. Jim Mahoney must bring his own sleeping bag.
11. No interrupting Juancho during story time.
12. No pre-dawn “alpine” starts to the day.
13. A 50 yard tent to tent buffer must be maintained at all sites.
14. Coffee should be underway prior to Juancho waking.
15. All clavicles must be secured before takeoff.
16. In case of serious injury, you will be drugged and placed carefully deep in the woods.
17. Juancho is to be full time fire marshall.
18. Passenger side window must be down at all times following the third day.
19. Captain and Tennile on your I-pod only. (An I-pod is a music dee-vice).
20. Used socks ride outside.
That is a good start. Violation of the rules will result in either a direct or indirect free kick based on the infraction. Juancho will remain the home team for the duration of the adventure.
Now Load Up!
hucked it, hucks it, will huck it.
If I didn’t know better I’d say you were going on a trip with Mystery the Untameable Goat.