Well and Good

Dear Ass,

Prepare to be hauled-

Love, Juancho

I’m not saying it is going to be at any particular person’s expense, or on any specific given day. I’m just saying that I am due for that breakout ride of the season. It probably will not happen in the course of a normal ride where, for instance, I bunny hop seven yards of brush and smilac to come around Mystery and race for the trail head at Cadillac. It could be that, but I think it is more likely that we will be miles and miles from home when confronted by some great emergency, like a small child trapped in a well, and everyone will say, “I’m just too tired to go get help. I couldn’t possibly make it. The child will simply have to remain in that well until I have eaten a Gu.”

I, however, can possibly make it and I will make it. I will save the little girl in the well!

The ride that follows will be legendary. I will receive the key to to the city of Miccosukee.

So that is one of my goals for the Summer, to save a well-trapped toddler with a heroic ride for help. What are you going to do this Summer? Lay around watching re-reruns of Ultraman?

As my mother used to say, “Turn that thing off and get outside!”


10 Responses to Well and Good

  1. Normally I would take great fun in rebuking all your claims, but I have to say you have the hundred yard stare, and that look Rambo had (1st Blood)when he realized he would HAVE to fight. I predict a top ten finish, sport class in the Tally race.
    My money’s on Juancho.

    I also have to tell you that when I suited up to ride yesterday, and found my rear tire flat and myself tubeless, I wanted your head on a stick!

  2. Mentioning Ultraman makes me yearn for the Space Giants… I loved the long, golden locks.

  3. Sorry Wrecking Ball, my plan is two-pronged: Get faster, make you get slower. That means no tubes for you.

    Dogboy, shut it and get your mountain bike out of dry storage.

  4. Sorry, I got the Tag-A-Long fused to my mtbke seatpost and slick tread on the rims. The skinny tire bike is rolling if the delRay thinks it can hang.