As Mayor of Hippie Killearn I will implement the following agenda:
Men must wear open sandals or close-toed shoes; no hybridizations of footwear allowed.
Optimist Park will hereby be known as Pessimist Park.
All pedestrian traffic in the greenway will yield to mountain bikes.
The $250 K in recovery funds slated for use in the forest will be diverted to the Indianhead Acres Singletrack Brewery project.
I will host an annual Nene Crit road race as a gesture of peace among cyclists.
I will build a system of catwalks and tunnels between myself, Soup, HiTops, and Squatch’s houses.
Koucky Park will be transformed into a Jaguarundi Preserve.
I am looking forward to the changes in our future!