The temperature on Saturday morning is expected to be around 24 degrees in Alachua, FL. That is why I am looking forward to a short, brisk ride to lunch at the Tour de Felasco before I head off to a fun afternoon of shopping with one of my favorite girls, Ma Ingalls. I have gift cards and coupons burning a hole in my chamois. The shame of failure has long since left the building and I expect it will be a miracle if Pa Ingalls and Tommy can even get me out of my tent, let alone find me Saturday morning for our customary 5:30 A:M breakfast call. If I were them I would try the Microtel Inn at the 484 exit. I will be in the room behind the No Me Moleste sign.
This is Florida. We aren’t geared up for 24 degrees. I’m going to have to wear everything I own. I will look like a Teletubby. How embarrassing. I am going to carry a bucket of fried chicken just to keep up with the caloric needs of maintaining a normal body temperature.
Reality has come a calling. Good God. What have I done?