One quick thing

If it is not a rocket, a marine vessel, or possibly vomit, then you don’t launch it. That goes for Oprah’s new network, your new Etsy website, or your bold new initiative to offer free AK-47’s with the purchase of a pick-up truck.

I am here to tell you, if we just let such wanton hyperbole weasel its way into our vernacular, before long we won’t have words to adequately describe such a prestigious and awe-inspiring event as the launching of an actual rocket. Oprah’s new network isn’t launching, it is “fixing to get started up” and your new Etsy website is “now available online” and your offer of a free AK-47 with the purchase of a pick-up is “getting going on Saturday.”

We really need to be a bit more demure in our presentation. I think this is part of the America everyone else thinks needs to get over itself.

Launch this Internet!


5 Responses to One quick thing

  1. You’re killing me; I love it! You’re so passionate about hyperbole; you’re a genius. If it wasn’t a thousand degrees below zero out there, I probably would never have read this, but I just died laughing.

    Too much?