The God & Country Defense

Do you know how it goes when you call up a buddy for a ride and they immediately go for the “higher moral authority” response?

I’m only pointing a finger because I am man enough to own up to my own version of it. The problem is that I am a single guy with a work from home lifestyle so the entire world knows that I am pretty much available to goof off at a moment’s notice. The God & Country Defense is a flimsy one for me. “A ride sounds nice but I’m really crunching out this big grant” is a God & Country version of the truth. The truth being, ” I’ve got a pop tart in the toaster oven and I’m about to watch the MTV “Beauty and the Geek” marathon. Due to my shoddy ramparts, I end up being cajoled onto the bike most of the time.

This is not so for some others though now is it?

Folks with children and wives, they can pull the God & Country defense anytime they like. Folks with important jobs winning bread, they are not to be questioned when they somberly explain, “Man, I would love to get out there, but you know how it is, God and Country brother, God and Country”.

This would be fine if it was only used under noble circumstances, but I am beginning to have my doubts. I think some folks are getting pretty cavalier with the G & C defense. Rarely do they up the ante with something like, “Now if you can ride at 6:30 A:M, I’ll meet you at the trailhead”, or I’ve got 45 minutes to kick your ass after dinner. No, they are lazily slurping gravy somewhere cloaked in the flag of family responsibility, hiding behind the bunker of professional obligation.

So when does a bro push the limits? When does a bro start hawking and stalking, whoring for a bike ride?

When is it all right to call out the God and Country Defense?

It is a tough one, but as ride brothers and sisters do we not have our own “higher moral authority” to aggressively advocate for that which we hold dear? To say, “God and Country be damned! We will ride today!” Don’t we all count on each other to maintain that level of motivation year in and year out, through all seasons?

It can be hard to justify the time necessary to keep your bike on the pedestal where it belongs, especially in the face of a non-riding home environment, where duty calls constantly, but we all admire those stories of people who went to manic lengths to ride and train against the odds.

Mystery came over yesterday, scoffed at my G&C defense and off we rode. I appreciate him for it all the more.

Remember, Rust Never Sleeps-


6 Responses to The God & Country Defense

  1. You told me I would have to physicaly roust you out of bed and make you ride on Sat. So instead of cutting an hour off my g&c or riding time I rode without you.

  2. Great how you didn’t even allude to Sasquatch. I think the great beast is poised for a comeback. If Rocky can do it, so can Sas.

  3. hell naw, no you didn’t! Here’s a deal, you come over for 45 min., play blocks, argue about finishing the meat part of the sandwich, and wipe poop-you gotta use the soft wipes, “because it’s the poopy that makes your bum itch”-and I’ll even get back on a bike.
    I need a workout partner, not to spot me, but to hold down the fort while I tune the gams again. Shit, I’ll even go oldskool (have to actually) with no suspension (anywhere!) and baby seat.
    Bring it poptart!-hey, there’s a new slogan for BRC

  4. Ole T. got caught in the crossfire and came out with his dukes up didn’t he?

    And can someone explain the term “kitchen pass” to me? I mean, if it has to do with the kitchen then you know I want one.