Losing is Winning

2007 TdF Lanternes Rouges
Prologue: Ruben Lobato (DNS7)
Stage 1: Aleksandr Kuschynski
Stage 2: Aleksandr Kuschynski
Stage 3: Aleksandr Kuschynski
Stage 4: Remy Di Gregorio (DNS5)
Stage 5: Geoffroy LeQuatre (DNS6)
Stage 6: Enrico Degano (DNF7)
Stage 7: Mark Cavendish (DNF8)
Stage 8: Wim Vansevenant
Stage 9: Wim Vansevenant
Stage 10: Wim Vansevenant
Stage 11: Wim Vansevenant
Stage 12: Wim Vansevenant
Stage 13: Wim Vansevenant
Stage 14: Wim Vansevenant
Stage 15: Wim Vansevenant
Stage 16: Wim Vansevenant
2006 TdF Lanternes Rouges
Prologue: Ruben Lobato
Stage 1: Danilo Di Luca (DNS2)
Stage 2: Aitor Hernandez
Stage 3: Filippo Pozzato
Stage 4: Magnus Backstedt (DNF14)
Stage 5: Sebastien Joly
Stage 6: Sebastien Joly
Stage 7: Sebastien Joly
Stage 8: Sebastien Joly
Stage 9: Sebastien Joly
Stage 10: Sebastien Joly
Stage 11: Wim Vansevenant
Stage 12: Sebastien Joly
Stage 13: Sebastien Joly
Stage 14: Sebastien Joly (DNF16)
Stage 15: Wim Vansevenant
Stage 16: Wim Vansevenant
Stage 17: Wim Vansevenant
Stage 18: Wim Vansevenant
Stage 19: Wim Vansevenant
Stage 20: Wim Vansevenant

I certainly can pick them. My main man Wim Vansevenant is dominating the competition for the Lanterne Rouge. Dead last in fifteen out of 20 stages? That is no accident. He is trying, a man committed to lack of commitment.

But why is Magnus Backstedt in the list? He is not in the race this year, yet he still gets credited for a last place finish. That’s why he is my true hero, he doesn’t even have to show up to lose anymore, it’s just a given. That kind of status could save me a lot of time and energy.

How does Wim do it? Do you think he gets off his bike each day and goes looking for the nearest watering hole? Wine bartender! none of the good stuff either, poor me a glass from that old vinegar bottle under the sink. Keep ’em coming I have to race tomorrow.

Does he follow that with a meal of cheese and fried dough? A colon obstructing glue block that he then carries around the roads of France, keeping a watchful eye on that snake Sebastien Joly? Frequent nature breaks and mechanicals are the stock in trade of the Lanterne Rouge, constantly hoping to catch your rivals off guard.

The Lanterne Rouge can never rest.


11 Responses to Losing is Winning

  1. Let me tell you something Juanco! I know where you are going with this, next you will be calling yourself the L.R. of Tallahassee!
    I want everyone to know what I have been saying for years….”If you want to be last, you gotta get by me first!”
    Stay off my turf Homie!

  2. Oh you think so? Well the race is so on, that the race is not even on! Not even a little bit on! I’m going to make a winner out of you if it kills me!

  3. Hey, if you copy and paste off my blog, you might at least give me proper credit!

    Sebastian Joly isn’t racing right now, btw. He’s undergoing cancer treatment.

  4. And Wim Vansevenant did NOT come in last in all those stages. He was the final rider in the General Classification of the Tour in those stages. Sure beats being one of the 48 guys who won’t see the finish line in Paris of the Tour this year.

  5. How can I possibly keep track of all the things I steal off the internet?

    Wim is the best overall loser? He is definitely our man!

  6. Nancy I don’t know you but….Already I am not fond of you. This is no place for factual clarification. Please leave. Sorry it’s just businenss.