Last weekend was graduation for the six or seven universities we have here in town. That used to mean that the town was about to get quiet. Quiet, and extremely warm. I don’t think that is true anymore. Legislative session seems to go on forever, and the diploma conveyer belt never shuts down. Tallahassee has become an 11 month town (We all run from August.) 10 years have passed since I received my last sheepskin (gross!) but I think graduation ceremonies are a ritual that reflect a natural process. I don’t need a student loan debt to tell me when class is over and it is time to move on to the next semester. I have earned many unaccredited degrees since my last large mailer envelope arrived with former governor Jeb Bush’s signature on it. Let me enumerate some of them for you, then you can tell us about your own scholastic achievements.

BA- Gravitational Enforcement earned while sprawled on the hot asphalt with arm pointing backwards.

PhD- Risk Management awarded for taking a chance on love and being rewarded beyond all expectations of success.

Crow Digestion (certification) for becoming a yoga practitioner after years of enlightenment avoidance.

MS- Assimilation– I own five pair of pants ranging in color from “bone” to “wheat.” I wear these pants to earn money.

You don’t have to pay anybody in cash, but there is always a price for education. We might not be on the academic calendar schedule, but life hands out degrees to all of us. It is usually pretty clear when it is time to flip your tassel.


6 Responses to Graduation

  1. Certificate of Achievement: Size-32-for-life; this is the one that requires the most study these days. I’m now in Continuing Education since 34 seems more comfortable.

  2. PhD – Pharmacology: I’ve experimented, combined and been hooked on a multitude of recreational and prescription drugs in my 40 something years. Current drug of choice is cycling.

  3. I wish I could join you in celebrating, but I think I’m more or less flunking shop class this spring.