Out of Pocket

off to work Posted by Hello

The clouds have parted and the malaise of yesterday is a bad and distant dream. I read to them all from the good book at Munson today, except most of them were too far back to listen and one of them was too far in front. It was hot as blazes, but that might have been the force of the Jamis Dragon bursting through the atmosphere. I will be absent from the circus for most of the week. I will try to post from the road, but you know how that goes. If you have a blog and try to post from the road anyway, than you know how that goes.

You know what happens when the ringmaster leaves the circus? The clowns run off and get drunk. The animals are released from their cages. The strong man lays down with the bearded lady, and the popcorn machine goes full tilt until the big top is ready to rupture. Since the beginning, all of 90 days ago, it hasn’t mattered to me if folks want to pay the price of admission (5 minutes) to join the show, or if they just want to check in now and then and think to themselves, “That guy is a jackass, I can totally drop him and write better than him”. Hell, that’s what got me started. I appreciate every click and scoff you’ve thrown my way, but in my absence, it’s going to get mighty boring around here. you might choose to play amongst yourselves. Either way I will be back Saturday and the world will be saved from certain destruction once again.

Some minutuae in your future…

  • S’quatch and family will hit the road soon for an old-fashioned motor tour of the great west. Overall I.Q. in the campgrounds of America is projected to spike by about 50 points with those two kids of theirs along. It’s too bad they will use most of their untapped potential for bringing to their father’s attention all of the unforeseen sufferings they will encounter along the way. Squawtch, his wife, will diplomatically alter between steadfast support and joining the mirthful abuse with the children. No matter how you slice it folks, it works out great for us.

  • The Tour de France will commence in July and the BIGRINGCIRCUS, (fuckin-A right that’s all caps) will wholeheartedly throw allegiance to Magnus Backstedt, the largest rider in the Tour by a shitload. Duh, of course we’ll cheer for Lance, we are not a communist circus after all. I still predict some rhinocerous beetle domination on the long, hot, flat sections by the “COLLOSAL APOSTLE” Mr. Magnus B.

Now is your chance to say, “But what about all the shit you talk about road bikers?” And my reply…What about it?

Have a great week amigos.

Juancho se fuera

6 Responses to Out of Pocket

  1. Wild West Trip Entry #1

    Night before leaving and the Sasquatch household is in more shambles than usual. Took a short spin with Hi-Tops tonight, cruising a little neighborhood single track and thinking what a mistake it’s going to be that I’m NOT taking my bike. That’s right, I crumbled under the pressure of leaving town for 18 days and the logistics and expense of shipping the bike put me over the edge. Whatever, I’m counting on the bike fairy to hook me up out there from time to time. Maybe I’ll rent a tandem and cruise Yellowstone with Squawtch. I’m not scared.

    Anyway, we’re leaving tomorrow at 4:00 P.M.. Next entry from the road.

  2. Setting The Proper Tone

    One more thing from Squatch Land. Tonight Jr. Squatch, 13, finally decided to acknowledge the trip that we’ve been planning around him for months. He looked up from his book and sighed, “Vacation? I wouldn’t really call this a vacation”

    I play it straight and engage, “Well, why not, son?”

    “Well,” he yawns, “a vacation implies more freedom than the usual routine, and we’ll (referring to himself and Baby Squatch, 11) have much less freedom than we usually do, what with the riding in the car and doing stuff we don’t want to do and that sort of thing…that’s not exactly a vacation, is it?”

  3. Touch Down: Denver

    We’re mile high, now baby! Tomorrow with little daylight and a trip through the Rockies in store, I hope to see what all the fuss is about.

  4. Counting on the bike fairy? I thought you were the bike fairy, or at least “a” bike fairy.

    Just kidding.

    How about more pearls of wisdom from Jr?

  5. “Just kidding” is for fairies. Don’t pull your punches with me, bitch. This is the wild, wild west and this fairy is the new sheriff at the Denver Comfort Inn. Time to go down and organize the covered wagon for today’s adventures. Hey, the light out here is brighter. Where’s my damn bike? Somebody stole my damn bike and left it back in Tallahassee!