Just Plain

Some circus I tell you. No death-defying acts. No magic tricks. No amazing curiosities from across the sea. I made the mistake of polling and trolling various cycling websites to see what the competition is up to, and I couldn’t believe it.

They all write about riding their bikes.

Typical fare is something like ” I rode down the mountain with a broken hip, then fixed a flat while waiting for the ambulance”. Other riders are taking pretty pictures and logging hundreds of solo miles in a weekend. Oh, they are a truly squeaky clean motivated bunch. They fight cancer. They tousle the hair of their tow-headed children. They pursue pr’s or pb’s and whatnot. They enter events, participate in group activities, and show up at city commission meetings to dispassionately advocate for bicycle safety and increased usage or whatnot.

Meanwhile, around here, we have things like:

S’quatch has a massively infected tickbite.

Juancho doesn’t like the heat, and lots of other things about riding.

Um, I like soup?

Juancho thought golf was awesome for about two weeks.

W.B. wrote an inflammatory post on mtbreview back in 2004?

Not exactly where you come for inspiration is it?

I think I wil start branching out to book and movie reviews, recipes, and of course, more pictures of kittens and ice cream.

You love it! you know you love it!


20 Responses to Just Plain

  1. What I seem to have is a tick bourne illness. The actual site of the bite, ugly as it is with its scarlet, radiant circularity, barely hurts at all. It’s just a great conversation starter.

    It’s the constant low grade fever since Friday, random sweats, and lymph node soreness that is bothering me. This is possibly the most exotic excuse I’m ever likely to have for not riding.

  2. OK, it took awhile to find it, but wow!! I wonder if I should point out that W.B.Z.N. never owned an XLT! He had a Dakar XC Comp, and an Dakar XC Pro. I suppose our boy got his point across. But to those of us who know he ripped apart the wrong bike, that’s damn funny! Way to go W.B.! To hell with accuracy! Just vent!!

    ps. That bike was jinxed, though.

  3. Oh, and is blog-nicol the new blog-sascha? she laughs at your jokes-that surely can’t last

    Bikes-right, I’ll go bike with this question. Found a girven forked pro-flex for $199-good deal?
    yeah sure, stolen, but “if you can’t be with the one you love…”

  4. Don’t call it a comeback she’s been here for years.

    I would have to see that dog before I could give it an endorsement.

  5. These entries are marvelous proof that Kurt Vonnegut was right when he said, “The moral of the story is, is we’re here on Earth to fart around.”

    And I think that’s a good thing. 🙂

  6. A spokesman for w.b.z.n. released this statement;
    Mr. W.B. was never in the bathroom in question never made the review mentioned in the article and maintains he is not now, nor was he ever gay!
    He would also like to invite Mr. Jaunco on a “slow, easy paced ride” to discuss this matter further.

  7. I found it. I had heard rumor of this nightmare but never got the whole story. All I can say is wow….. Gotta be rider error!!!!!

    The bike was delivered with a bad rear shock. Kissed the seat tube BAD. Hayes break line failed in month two. The mechanic said the fork mounts were bent. 8 months in I broke the right chain stay. Took three weeks to get a new one, I had to borrow a bike from a friend. 1 year in the black shock failed and had to be rebuilt off warranty. A week later I broke the rear triangle at the shock mount. Jamis replaced my frame after I raised hell with the rep. Joes has been cool through it all but they sort of infer it is rider error. I ride with two ex mechanics from Joes and they call the bike the “Shamis”. I just got off a ride were my chain stay broke while I was descending a little hill I tweaked my knee and I am supposed to go out of the country to surf in two weeks. I have had enough and I will call my lawyer in the morning. Do not support this product you will be sorry.

    I will shout from the roof tops for anyone I know, not to buy any of Jamis’ bikes.

  8. mmm-mmmm-mmm. Damning evidence for a man seen riding a Jamis not seven days ago.

    “sort of infer rider error” explains the signed testimony on display at the shop which reads: I (______) am a human wrecking ball.

  9. Sasquatch- you might have the dreaded Lyme Disease and this is nothing to joke about. It can, left untreated, lead to horrible things, including neurological problems.
    Get it looked at NOW!
    I mean it! The sooner treated if it is Lyme Disease, the higher the odds of actually getting rid of it.
    I am not your mother, but I AM a mother. And a nurse. Really.

    And Juancho- you write a great blog. And I don’t even know one darn thing about bikes.