Oooo! Aaaahhh!

Other than wearing a sandwich board that says, “THIS IS A CONSTRUCTIVE USE OF MY ANGER” and parading around the Wal-mart parking lot, I do not have any plans for the 4th of July weekend.

I can only really conceptualize the 4th of July holiday in the most abstract frame, like imagining I have an extra thumb on my left hand. I have altered my working hours to include Sunday to Saturday 6:00 A:M to 5:59 A:M so if anything I feel a pang of disappointment that I will not be able to get much done over the weekend because everyone else will be taking time off like a bunch of Europeans.

I can’t really imagine celebrating freedom until January 20, 2009 when we find out if we actually are free, or if we have been acclimating to a totalitarian state. I mean, I like potato salad as much as you, but it is no reason to celebrate by itself.

Actually, what I’m really thinking of is driving to Santos and riding until my legs fall off.


12 Responses to Oooo! Aaaahhh!

  1. The other day I bought a GIANT two-pack of Heinz Ketchup simply because it was so much incredibly cheaper to buy it that way than any other. I mean, I just couldn’t justify not buying it.
    I have never felt more American in my life than when I hoisted those two demi-johns of ketchup, linked with a plastic necklace, into my cart.

  2. I’m putting together a reel of terrorist bloopers for the holiday.

    A couple of scene previews:

    1.The guys in moomoos storm into a room with Kalashnikov’s and one gets a chair in the nuts-they all start laughing without a shot fired.

    2.While tending a field of poppies, a couple Taleban start getting high, then wacky hijinks ensue and one of them ends of doing the truffle shuffle.

    3.Young insurgents are practicing with model planes over a mock cityscape and then, yep, you guessed it, one of the planes misses the bldg and hits the older boy in the nuts.

    That’s enough catch-words to get us all listed, eh?

  3. Hilarious, Magnum!

    Juancho, that picture of Santos (title click) took my breath away. What is it about that trail? Why aren’t we there at least six times per year? Why doesn’t Torso open a Barbeque joint down there?

  4. I was just trying to add to DG’s list of symbols of America: 4. derogation of brown people

    Plus, I’ve turned over my blog temporarily to have more time to flame others.

  5. Sasquatch- let me just say I bought those giant bottles of ketchup in PUBLIX! I am way too scared too go to Cosco. They might make me wear a flag lapel pin.

  6. I’ve never been inside a Cosco before, but I imagine it being like Sam’s Club, which is overwhelming and ridiculous. Who really likes to buy tubs of Hellman’s mayo and hot dogs at the same place they can buy a weed-wacker and their undergarments?

    And, that trail looks glorious! Our singletrack in town is not ridable, as it is covered with weeds, mud and water, unfortunately.