Despite my big talk, the marquee event on this vacation is sleep. Hours and hours of endless dreaming. This vacation is sponsored by Goodie P:M sleepytime headache powders. I assume I am saving up on sleep in preparation for the sleepless hell I am about to encounter grunting lost in the mountains, cursing the day I ever took that job living in the kitchen in Moose, WY working for Soup, Mystery, Cupcake, Hardman, or the most damning name of all-Steve Newman!

Meanwhile, after kicking and clawing his way out of the swine flu Sasquatch has discovered a new lease on life through the total life management system. This website offends me and everything for which I stand. Lance’s lifestyle army wants to know everything you eat, everything you do, and it offers preloaded non-custom critique of those choices. Had a bagel? Should have had spelt bread! Ran a mile? Should have run two! I hereby dub that site the “should” factory. He thinks it is free, but I feel strongly there is a price to be paid along the way. It is likely more dangerous than Facebook.

Then again, maybe it is an excellent tool, made available from a place of altruism deep inside Lance Armstrong’s cold reptilian heart.


14 Responses to Rest

  1. Reptilian? The man’s turned into a teddy bear. He takes off the shades and smiles for the camera, and — get this — LOSES a race. The least you could do is join his collective, Juancho. It’s for your own good.

  2. Screw that. He should try to win Leadville, like every other retired cycling mutant.

    That is it! I can offer Lance MY collective shoulda, coulda, woulda critique site!

  3. Please….I beg you….set up a ride I can get on, I have tried twice to finish twilight and both times bailed. Juancho roll out when you want , but call a brother. I am a man without a crew.

  4. I see Lance falls under the same umbrella as Jack Johnson? Come on juancho….Lance may be a monster but Jack. Give it another listen.

  5. Glad to see someone else isn’t drinking the “New Lance” Kool Aid — and never drank the old one, either. If interested, here are my complete thoughts in a post from earlier this year.

  6. Wow. Take a few days off the internet and all your friends stop by!

    WB- I’m out the door to NC. We will ride next week.

    Che- Soryy. No mercy for Jack. He’s a bossy tool. Like Lance.

  7. the should factory
    don’t put up with should
    don’t let anyone should on you
    don’t should on others

    …isn’t that some kindergarten manifesto or something???