The whole family is gathered around watching America’s Next Top Model, a tradition in my family that dates back to the early just a couple minutes ago. I don’t know about you people, but I count on these long-established customs to bring me back in touch with what really matters. Beyond the glow of the elf-like Allison with the very close together eyes (like a Shar-pei, they are bred that way to appear more like a human baby and therefore be more appealing to the human eye) we all warm ourselves by the more intimate coals of the internet. An Ipad for that one, a PC for those two (plebes!) and a smartphone to guide the tweaking of the dressing recipe. We could all hold hands or line out a chain of dominoes down the hall and past the generations of family hanging on the wall. Look at that mullet! And those wide lapels! Sideburns and gingham, or no gingham at all, for better or worse there we all are.