Technical issues are preventing me from posting the next compelling segment of the Big Ring Circus. Don’t worry, I have two more detectives working on the case!
-Juancho
Monthly Archives: August 2006
Flight
I have heard that prior to jumping, skydivers often nod off in the plane. Something about the focus, or the nervousness just puts them to sleep. Watching a man step off of this cliff and float over the Pacific Ocean had the same effect on me. Torrey Pines, famous for golf, also hosts a nearby “Glider Port” for hanggliders, paragliders, and model planes. The model gliders were graceful and made cool air-ripping sounds as they banked and whirled above us, but it was watching a person float over the edge in slow motion that put me in a trance. Cyclists make a lot of comparisons to flight- but after watching someone fly- I’m afraid we might have it all wrong.
Juancho
On location in San Diego, CA.
West Coast Cycles
Well, I’ve been pestering these California folks to take me to a dirt track so I can ride, and it looks like today is the day. The bikes are weird though, and the riders dress pretty much like roadies with their flashy tights and riding crops. I didn’t bring my cleats so I’m not sure how I’m supposed to ride the damn thing, but I’ll catch on and deliver some east coast style beat-downs I’m sure. Apparently there is quite a bit of gambling associated with the races and Juancho is going off at 15:1. Those fools, they don’t even know. Trust me folks, this is easy money.
Upon arriving in San Diego, I began eating raw fish (yellowtail) straight from the Pacific Ocean. A neighbor fella caught it and I swear the meat was still quivering on the plate-awesome.
The Neville Brothers were in town as well so we dropped in at the Belly Up Bar to catch some Southeastern Funk and they did not disappoint. The Booze Fast was officially broken at 8:00 P:M PST on Tuesday August 15 with a glass of wine with dinner (Rodney Strong) followed by a shot of Milagro Mango Tequila. By those choices it is apparent that I became a woman this summer. Well, lucky for me I was born so pretty. A couple FAT TIRE ALE’s at the show rounded things out, and now the fast is back on. Consider this day 2.
I will be in Mexico this weekend and I don’t think they have “el internet” down there, but you never know. If I can post, expect it to be entirely in (very poor) Spanish- for authenticity.
Adios- Juancho
Please take off your shoes, sir.
Time to check dignity at the door and enter the bizarre world air travel. By 4:00 EST I will be in Southern California enjoying the freedom to say “Dude” as much as I want…dude.
Although you can expect posting from the west coast, things will get predictably screwy so in the meantime, please consider the following.
Big Worm is here to help you, ask him questions. Let the meaty voice of reason soothe your aching ego.
-Juancho
Bonk-Proof
I know this kind of talk is dangerous, but I just have to say it, I can’t be cracked.
I’m totally bonk-proof. The summer program (no alcohol, tobacco, or firearms) has not made me lightning fast in 90 days or less, but I’m telling you- my well is deep.
Saturday was a 30+ mile day(mostly trails with commutes in between) in temperatures lurking a few degrees below 100 and while I cursed the heat, it never beat me down.
This is progress.
I cursed at no one, although I made a few jokes about public mayhem; but that’s just humor, and a sign of a well-balanced personality. Those were idle threats believe me, they are all in good fun. I will channel that rage into political activism and riding, or just let it leak out little by little as sarcasm and satire.
Sunday morning Bushy and I were out at Munson, sweet-sweet Munson, most lovely of all forest trails, for a little bit of Earth Surfing. After 3 inches of rain, the trail was fast like the greens of Augusta (You know, the golf course?)
We spun an easy 45 minute lap. It felt like the bike and I were hovering as the world spun beneath us. So, so sweet.
Tomorrow I’m off to San Diego, Ensenada and other far away West Coast places. I will be kicking it with libbyllama and the Neville brothers out there (just one night with the Nevilles).
Why don’t you people get organized and work up a roster to make sure Iggy gets fed while I’m gone?
I’m serious, not even dynamite can crack me.
-Juancho
Choose Your Own Adventure
The rides we do around Tallahassee generally follow one of three directions, North, East, or South of town. All can be done as “door to door” rides, no shuttle required, and each direction offers distinct pleasure to pain opportunities. Here, I’ll sketch it out for you…
North- After some breakneck commuting maneuvers, you find yourself at the entrance to the Live Oak Connector, a rough and gnarly singletrack
that crosses a deep ravine. Numerous log-overs and some steeps make this 2 mile urban trail a challenge. A quick jog up to Timberlane Road and you are on your way to Lake Overstreet via the Computer Tutors trail. From here on out, it is fast red clay, with some of the most flowing singletrack in town. Lake Jackson (mostly dry now) offers more wandering miles, and the oft-ignored Redbug trail presents a rooty smackdown option late in the ride.
Round trip: 16-25 miles depending on your choice of linkage.
East- It all starts and ends on the Fern Trail going east. From my house it is about 5 miles to this grand dame of a trail that snakes through urban commercial district and some neighborhoods. Used mostly as a “getting somewhere” trail, it doesn’t get it’s due as a destination trail, but believe me it is fun. Also in the area is the Pine Beetle, or Albertson’s trail. This path leads to Tom Brown Park, where most sanctioned mtb events take place. The terrain is steep and rugged by local comparisons and the line is difficult to follow. Numerous options and washed out areas guarantee group separation, but it all spills out in the same place. It is called the Magnolia Trail, but I have never, ever heard any rider use it’s proper name.
From here there are great options, singletrack it on the Cadillac trail for tight, technical singletrack on hard pack dirt, or blast out the multi-use Lafayette Heritage Trail to get somewhere fast. On big ride days we take it across the tracks to the Pedrick Greenway trails (Coup de Ville trail) and cross a housing development to the Miccosukee Greenway trails. At this point mileage is moot so we usually go to the magical, peaceful Miccosukee Land Co-op for a tour of the enlightened.
Round Trip mileage: 35-50 depending on route selection.
South- Depart through Frenchtown, the historically black neighborhoods, and cross two major Universities (Go ‘Noles, Strike ’em Rattlers!) and pick up the Rails to Trails project, the St. Marks Trail to teleport directly to the National Forest. Paper Cup trail and Granddaddy Munson await as well as some newly developed trails that are almost ready for public consumption. If you are angry with yourself and need to be punished, then you go deep into the sandy heart of the forest where cold water sinkholes are hiding, as well as some fairly ungroomed terrain, but that is another post.
Round trip mileage: 18-25 depending on route selection.
West- West lies the forest again, the airport, and the Cascade lakes region. Plenty of riding can be found this way, but no “designated mtb trail” so I’m skipping it.
So, as training for the Monster Loop, I think it is time to start tackling two out of three of these options on occasion. South, then North. North, then East, it doesn’t matter.
Choose your own adventure!
-Juancho
Open Season
I expected to hear dozens of bad jokes about Floyd Landis by now and instead I have yet to hear the first joke. I figured it is time to take matters into my own hands and get the ball rolling right here at the circus. Humor is good medicine, and not intended to imply guilt or wrongdoing on the part of Mr. Landis. So here goes…
After seven years of losing to a guy with one ball, of course it seemed like a high testosterone level.”
Ba bump BUMP!
But seriously folks, “It’s France, ANY testosterone would seem like a lot right?”
“They think Floyd’s testosterone level was high? it’s a good thing they don’t test ME after every ride.”
That’s the idea, so what have you got for me?
-Juancho-
On the jugo.
Central Florida ‘Reminiscin’
Riding along the par 4 fifth hole of the Harder Hall golf course in Sebring, FL (My hometown) I bring to my cousin Billy’s attention the majestic Sandhill Cranes standing regally along the cartpath.
“Check those out Bill, take a picture with your camera phone”.
“What? Them old things? They ain’t special, you know- they taste just like venison!”
With that he drives past the cranes like they are groupie spectators in our PGA gallery.
“Aren’t those a protected species? Can’t you get in a lot of trouble for shooting them?”
“Oh yeah, you bet! It’s a $500 fine!”
I never asked him how he knew that.
Unfortunately we got rained out for the rest of the round, but like I’ve said before, there is nothing like family, especially mine.
Speaking of Golf, I’m going to start my Monday off right and sneak out for a quick 9 holes.
-Juancho